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The Therapist Will See You Now – Review of Landscapes of the Heart: The Working World of a Sex and Relationship Therapist by Juliet Grayson

Ever wondered what a therapy session may be like? Just open up Landscapes of the Heart and let Juliet Grayson welcome you in. On Amazon

Landscapes of the Heart is my type of non-fiction reading. I adore fictional TV medical series and have read previous biographies from the medical world. However, I never thought I would find a book on therapy so fascinating. I never thought therapy would be for me, but while reading this book, I found that it might be for everyone, I’m now on a waiting list to actually see a therapist. I have things to sort out in my head, and I’ve known that for a while, but I never saw therapy as an option. I think this all comes down to the no fuss narrative of Grayson. Each chapter is dedicated to a different case with various relationship or sexual problems.

Firstly, you are a fly on the wall in their first session. The powerful emotions of both anger and sadness draw you into another persons life, but what keeps you locked in is the way Grayson so easily describes how each patient must be feeling. She appears to have quite the gift in ‘walking in someone else’s body’ – the reader almost goes through the therapy session themselves.

The emotions that begin each chapter are so raw that they seep from the pages onto us, making Grayson’s words applicable to us. The reader senses change in the atmosphere. While the patients leave the therapy session with a hint of development, the reader leaves the chapter in a similar way.
Grayson then grants us with a second meeting, there isn’t much worse than being drawn in and hooked on a story, only to watch it disappear with no idea of how things turned out. Not all of the second meetings with patients are filled with drastic changes and happy faces, life doesn’t work that way and Grayson is keen to show us that. She often refers to herself and her problems, which help the reader understand how she came to be such a successful therapist. The second meetings with the therapist are incredibly satisfying. Not only is the reader privy to the patients’ development, but we are also shown that relationships and problems require constant work from people who really want them to succeed.

After the couples’ therapy sessions have been described and their paths revealed, Grayson moves on to a more technical section. What the author does in these sessions is explain in more detail a theory or idea that was mentioned in the therapy sessions. For example, Grayson explains how one takes on a certain role in a relationship: the Boss, the Loner, the Pleaser and the preferred, the Self-Developer. Grayson manages to find level of knowledge to pass on. It is enough for us to understand and apply to our own lives but not too complex that we may never understand it.

Even though the stories of the couples were enjoyable and full of emotion, I think that this book also plays a great role in helping the reader. When I started this book I didn’t think I would get any help from it. Instead, I have found that some of the ideas are ones I will try to use in my own relationships, that therapy may be a great way for to deal with my emotions and ultimately, that we are not alone when facing problems. Everyone has their own problems and I think that sometimes we forget that. Many people hide problems so well that we may never fully understand them. As they say ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ and Grayson can help with that.

One final tip whilst reading this intriguing book: don’t skip over the poetry and quotes!

Put simply, yes. Of course, the unfortunate reality is that a person can’t avoid every single trigger that they might have all of the time – especially if it is an everyday kind of thing. I, for example, used to be triggered by certain songs (and still am to some extent) if I related them to a bad experience or feeling, but I can’t exactly demand that every radio station stops playing them.

Depending on the situation, I think that it is important for people to build up some sort of resistance to triggers, through methods such as counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). This will help them to process traumatic experiences and learn techniques for coping with distressing subject matter so that they can live their everyday life without being held back by fear.

Whilst it is definitely worth considering that people should seek help with coping with a mental illness or the after-effects of trauma, trigger warnings are absolutely still necessary. For someone who is in recovery, no matter at what stage in the process they are at, triggers still have the power to affect them in a very negative way. On bad days when living itself is difficult, coming across a trigger could push someone over the edge and put back their recovery. Being reminded of the bad things in the world is the exact opposite of what is needed for someone who is recovering from trauma, and can only end in a depressed and/or anxious mindset.

The wonderful things in the world are the way forward, and there are plenty of them to help you with recovering, just make sure to look out for them.

Do you agree? Drop a comment below to let us know.

Around once every year or so, when I’m sick of watching QI repeats and desperately trying to procrastinate, there’s one series I will always turn to – Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

If you’ve never seen it, firstly – where have you been?! And secondly – you should definitely get onto that! I was obsessed with this show when I was a kid – it had action, monsters and a timeless romance to rival that of Ross and Rachel. Buffy was such an influence on me as a young girl that I made the always terrible decision to give myself the Buffy haircut – all evidence has since been destroyed. But aside from my bad fashion choices, Buffy had a very positive influence on young girls as the powerful female icon we’d all been waiting for.

A badass vampire slayer just trying to live an ordinary life whilst going to school on top of a hellmouth, what more could you want? Well, a well-rounded leading female character for one, which thankfully Buffy definitely was. Diverse and intelligent female leading characters weren’t all that common in the 90’s and unfortunately, they aren’t even that common in today’s society, but Buffy Summers signified a move to a more realistic image of women on screen (apart from the vampire slaying stuff). She was independent and tough, but also sometimes sensitive and stubborn, she wasn’t a piece of arm candy or a damsel in distress that needed to be saved, she was more than perfectly capable of saving herself.

And who wouldn’t want to be in Buffy’s “scooby gang”? A fiercely loyal friend and selfless to a fault, Buffy was always putting others before herself, and not just her friends, but the entire fate of the world (try and top that if you can). But it wasn’t just Buffy who was a full and rich female character, pretty much all of the female characters were wildly different and distinct, flawed and fascinating. Take Willow Rosenberg, Buffy’s best friend, for instance – she started out as a meek and mild highschooler, afraid to step out of her comfort zone and constantly bullied, but as the series progressed Willow flourished and changed. She developed her own interests, she fell in love, and struggled with her sexuality, which then lead to one of the first portrayals of a same-sex couple on television.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, what about that Angel guy, he was a pretty dominant male character who Buffy becomes kind of infatuated with. Well yeah, there were romances, to omit romance would be to miss out a huge chunk of life, it’s the way you portray the relationship that counts. The important thing was that her character was never defined by her love life, she was always defined by her actions and the choices she made. And come one, there’s nothing wrong with a good love story.

A tough vampire slaying teen was my first glimpse at a truly powerful female TV character. Buffy will always be relevant to me and I’m guessing to many others out there too. So I guess this was some sort of love letter to Buffy Summers, an enduring feminist icon.

Toxic relationships are like a virus. Once infected, you become sicker and sicker until you are prescribed a cure. Usually that prescription is to leave the relationship behind.

A friend of mine described a toxic relationship like that scene in Alien where the guy doesn’t realise he’s carrying a parasite, starts feeling unwell and then BOOM!, an alien baby pops out of his stomach. Ideally, we’d like to avoid that unpleasant sensation, and I think in order to do that, we need to have open and honest conversations about what constitutes a toxic relationship and what the warning signs are. More.

Toxic relationships don’t only exist between romantic partners; they can also be between friends, parents and children, and pretty much any other type of close or dependent relationship. The thing about toxic relationships is that they become vicious cycles. When one person starts displaying toxic behaviours, it tends to lead the other party to display toxic behaviours of their own until neither one is happy with themselves or happy in the relationship. Toxic relationships can be emotionally abusive when one person wants power over the other. There are different forms of these types of relationships, but here are a couple of behaviours to look out for:

1. Purposely making the other person jealous

When someone in the relationship consciously takes action to make their partner jealous. This could be by flirting with other people, or worse, actually cheating to get attention from them – it creates a really unhealthy atmosphere. An individual shouldn’t want attention from their partner because of a negative emotion. In a healthy relationship there is trust, and each person lifts the other up.

2. Putting down the other person’s friends and family

This type of behaviour is often used when someone is trying to isolate a person in order to be the only one they depend on.

3. Body shaming

It’s unhealthy to remain in any type of relationship with someone who is always making negative comments about your body or making you feel bad about yourself in any way. Friendships and relationships should help to cure, not increase, insecurities.

4. Holding the relationship hostage

Threatening to leave the relationship in order to win an argument or disagreement takes value away from the relationship and the person in it. For example “You have to pick between me and football”, is not productive and not a way to maintain a healthy relationship.

5. Using gifts as a way to “fix” issues

Instead of communicating about a problem, in a toxic relationship, someone may use gifts and dates as a way to create a happier atmosphere, but it’s really only a Band-aid and the good feelings are only temporary. Eventually, it just makes the problems worse.

6. Constantly splitting up and getting back together or having big fights followed by grand apologies

On-and-off again relationships that repeat these same patterns are a dangerous and emotional roller coaster for the people involved.

7. Shutting the other person out/the silent treatment

Behaviour like this is isolating one person and creates unnecessary tension in the relationship.

8. Ignoring the big differences in what you both want from the relationship

For example, if one person wants commitment and titles and the other person does not, they are going to bury their frustrated, hurt, jealous feelings until they burst (that’s when the Alien scene happens).

9. Consciously inducing guilt onto the other person

Similar to purposely making a partner jealous, purposely making them feel guilty about things that they shouldn’t have to is controlling and manipulative.

10. Creating a dynamic where one person’s interests/accomplishments/plans are more important

There shouldn’t be a hierarchy in adult relationships; each person should respect the others equally, ensuring that no one person’s needs eclipse the others’.

When researching and preparing for this piece, I began to realise that I myself have been guilty of some of these toxic behaviours and have also been victim to them. Some of the behaviours are deal breakers, but others can be faced head on and dealt with as part of a healthy relationship.

Generally speaking, toxic behaviour encompasses more than just one of these points. It’s important to note that displaying these behaviours in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, it just means the relationship needs to be reevaluated and, possibly, to be stepped away from.

Being cheated on is something many, if not all of us, fear when getting into a relationship. In truth, you never think your other half has the potential to do you dirty. Newsflash, ladies and gents, it happens to the best of us! Nevertheless, cheating is awful but what is actually classed as cheating? Let’s discuss…

Well obviously kissing, touching and or sleeping with someone who isn’t your partner (without their consent) is 100% cheating, that’s a given. And yes, even a drunken smooch when you’re out with the boys is still cheating. Basically, as my partner, if I haven’t given you the green light to have intercourse with Becky and you do it regardless, then yes, you are a cheater.

Even folks in polyamorous relationships with a distinctive set-up can be cheated on. For those unaware, polyamory is the practice of having intimate relationships with more than one partner – and it’s all totally consensual. Now, here’s another scenario. If I know that while dating me you are also dating Wendy, however decide to go ahead and sleep with Becky without my consent or without first alerting me then yes, my dear, you are also a cheater.

As well as physical cheating, there is also emotional cheating. Emotionally investing in someone the same way you would your partner is 100% cheating. Attempting to start a new relationship and or build a new foundation with someone else while still in a relationship is whack as hell to be honest. Even if you haven’t ever gotten physical with this new person, the fact that you are allowing yourself to develop feelings for someone new is still whackity whack.

If we’re in a relationship yet you decide to continuously text Becky, going back and forth with cutesy ‘start of a new relationship’ messages then you, my dear, are a cheater. If you’re happy to go through the gruelling ‘getting to know you’ process with someone new while you’re with me then, again, you are a cheater!

Now here are a few things that I myself don’t consider cheating:

1. Liking a guy or girl, other than your partner’s, on Instagram
2. Remaining in contact with an ex
3. Using AI to write love poems

Personally, liking someone else’s picture on the ‘gram may seem slightly wayward to some but it isn’t actually cheating, not really. I wouldn’t expect my partner to stop finding other women or men attractive just because he’s now with me. The way I see it is we can admire pretty women together – twice the fun! Now, of course, if he doesn’t leave it at just liking the photo and extends that like to a DM then we’d have a problem.

If your partner is in contact with an ex then please don’t fret! It is perfectly okay and reasonable for your bae and their ex-bae to be cordial or even friends – it’s actually pretty healthy. If your bae is really down for you like they say they are, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Now of course these are just my personal opinions and not reflective of the masses. It’s all open to interpretation really, but hopefully this helps some folks weary of a ‘Becky with good hair’ lurking around their babe.

Sometimes you just want to binge watch The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt whilst throwing crisps aimlessly towards your face, but there’s the odd occasion when you want to feel more sophisticated and soak up some knowledge whilst throwing cheese and crackers aimlessly towards your face. So, on that note, here are 5 must-watch documentaries you can get stuck into right now on Netflix (in no particular order because I’m not that decisive).

1. Kurt & Courtney

Everyone loves a good conspiracy, right? Well, hold on to your hats because this documentary dives head first in to the most hotly debated conspiracy theory in rock ‘n’ roll history.

Did Courtney kill Kurt? Nick Broomfield tries to untangle the messy web of truth and lies in this in-depth look at Kurt and Courtney and the events surrounding Cobain’s untimely death.

Broomfield gets the down-low on the couple’s private life, has a chinwag with a hitman-for-hire and even confronts Courtney Love herself.

2. Aileen: The Selling of a Serial Killer/The Life and Death of a Serial Killer

Another win for Nick Broomfield! These two intriguing documentaries give the viewer a real insight into the life of the world’s most infamous female serial killer.

What drove Aileen Wuornos to kill seven men? Broomfield takes a closer look at Aileen’s upbringing and what her motivation may have been to shoot seven men at point blank range. He also reveals how the press and Aileen’s closest friends used her situation for their own financial gain.

3. Blackfish

This is the documentary that was the start of Sea World’s extraordinary downward spiral.

Blackfish tells the story of Tilikum, a captive killer whale who could be responsible for the suspicious deaths of several people. A raw and unflinching criticism of the sea-park industry, this documentary features interviews with former whale trainers and uncovers what really happens behind the scenes at Sea World.

4. West of Memphis

If you loved Making a Murderer, you won’t be able to tear your eyes away from West of Memphis.

Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jesse Misskelley were just teenagers when they were convicted of the murder of three young boys in Arkansas. Rumours of Satan worship and the influence of heavy metal music fueled speculation and sparked what many may call a ‘witch hunt’. This documentary brings to light new evidence that didn’t get aired at trial and scrutinises the many downfalls of the American justice system.

5. Searching for Sugar Man

Well, after all that doom and gloom lets end on something a bit lighter.

Mysterious musician ‘Rodriguez’ never really took off in the U.S. but later became a household name in South Africa. In this documentary two fans go on the hunt to find out what happened to their hero and if the tales of his bizarre death are really true. This is a story filled with so many twists and turns you’ll get motion sickness.

BONUS: Manosphere by Louis Theroux

I feel like Louis Theroux could be in contention for the nations sweetheart, move over Stephen Fry. If you just can’t wait for his new Scientology movie to come out, you’re in luck because his extensive back catalogue is all available on Netflix. Check out Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends for an often hilarious and always engaging look at the worlds oddest and sometimes extremist subcultures.

If one were to stop and look around today, one could be forgiven for thinking we were slaves. To our own anxiety, and to modern ideas invented by powerful institutions or powerful individuals with an institutions worth of people behind them. It seems obvious, and yet, most of us choose to not be witness; to not to see that which governs our everyday existence. In our ignorance of it though, we only grow paranoid. I know this because I’ve been one of these people for a long while now – aware but silent.

When was the last time, like me, you expressed the desire for product? A new pair of jeans, or a new jacket, or perhaps an upgrade of phone? This want for product is of course not exclusive to the digital age, it birthed long before the time of digital communication, but one could most certainly argue it was exaggerated with the boom of digital technology. The very makeup of our communication system now demands we own product. And the makeup of this product demands we’re always connected – always concerned.

When we think about mobile communication, we think of instantaneous connectivity. Talking to friends whilst riding the train, emailing sat in traffic, updating Facebook in the pressing moments before a loved ones funeral. We tap meaningfully into backlit screens, our eyes fixated, our minds jumbled with information we so desperately try to arrange digitally – in a way which see’s us both aesthetically and ideologically pleasing to the masses. As a society and as individuals we feel inclined to remain connected at all times. But why?

Do you remember how it felt the last time you got a notification? You probably didn’t think too much into it, but you got that light tingle. Somewhere inside your brain started making connections; the pleasure you once associated with accomplishing a task like finishing a run, or achieving something like a good test score, or even receiving a pat on the back – it was that same pleasure you felt as you opened up that notification. Someone liked one of your Facebook photos. And it made you feel great. This is what we call digital confirmation, and whilst it feels good, what we as consumers don’t understand is just how addictive it becomes.

We’re now primarily creatures destined to hunt this type of confirmation; seeking approval for the at times meaningless. The new clothing we just purchased, the new poem we wrote, the lack of romance in our lives. A Facebook like or a Twitter heart, these are all digital currencies we allow govern our next steps and our new paths. If we broadcast our darkest moments, well at least we’ll get a few likes and shares out of it right?

You see, seeking this level of confirmation without either the anonymity or level of disconnect the internet provides proves quite the challenge to the digital native. How often have you enjoyed the cloak of a digital identity? Perhaps you’ve left a comment on a news article disagreeing with it’s author, but under the shade of a ‘guest user’ account. It’s a relatively handsome prospect, is it not? Speaking freely without the ties of your real life identity conflicting your argument.

But for those raised receiving the validity of their peers online, the concept of real life discussion, of face to face approval or disproval, it seems emotionally exhausting. How does one bare it without the ability to hide behind a screen, or a digital persona? Whilst still impacting its receiver negatively, disapproval is somewhat dimmed online. Blunted in a way which could only be the product of a personal disconnect with the online identity he or she has built for themselves. A face to face meeting with that same level of disapproval however welcomes an anxiety too troublesome to ignore – what should one do with their body language? How does one hide the pain caused by such disapproval if one is not able to hide behind a screen or username? We have insistently removed ourselves from real life because of this.

We no longer enjoy taking phone calls for fear of a detectable pain in the tone of our voices. We no longer put ourselves at risk of facing judgement outside of the digital realm, be that on the playground, in the classroom or by our parents. We hide behind our digital blanket of safety. And who can blame us? With that option now available, why then should we indulge in this aspect of human existence? Why then should we allow ourselves to feel pain?

Though to grow one must feel this real life pain. One must remain open to the notion and the reality of being judged face to face. It aids us in career path, in life skills and most certainly in spiritual growth. Our paranoia is born through our constant connectivity, because to stay connected is to shy away from these realities. Regardless of whether you’re a digital native or digital adapting adult, our fear of being judged is what keeps us refreshing our feeds, chasing online conversation, distancing ourselves from what the real world promises. A digital silence means facing our real lives, and that, whilst not sounding too menacing on the page, is in actuality one of our biggest challenges in the 21st century.

It’s in the avoidance we breed a fear so strong that the eventual and inevitable meeting with a face to face scenario becomes unbearable. Text feeds between ourselves and friends are rarely conclusive because of this; often meandering from subject to subject, our iMessage becomes a never ending source of sporadic thought. Though it’s rare we ever quench this insatiable thirst for constant communication in the digital age without feeling its repercussions. The almost certainty of anxiety is found in digital silence. And so I challenge you, as I shall challenge myself, to destroy your paranoia today through putting down your phones. Reach out to the human next to you. Tell a story, share a joke. Forget the digital you and love the real you. You’re not as bad as you think.

Can you keep a secret? I can’t.

With the ability to share salacious information within seconds, there is no doubt that girls are the worst culprits for idle petty gossip. What is more exciting than finding out a cheeky fact about a friend’s boyfriend or learning about an acquaintance’s secret fetish and then being able to share this delightful vocal treat with your own gossiping gang? You anticipate the eager faces, and then you can feel the pride after you become the group’s favourite – the holder of new gossip. In female friendship groups, health, beauty, and who has had what cosmetic dentistry and their teeth done and when are prevalent and very common topics, but why do girls love to gossip about other girls so much?

And is this a problem in today’s society?

From high school ages, girls are renowned for their inability to keep a secret and their delight at imparting gossip to their friends. Social media plays a key role in modern-day gossiping as information can be transferred quickly and secretly. In addition to sharing gossip online, social media sites such as X aka Twitter, Facebook and Instagram often become sources of new information to share. I know that it is very easy to find out a lot of information about someone from their online profile – even if it is very trivial facts and, quite often, fictions. These things then become twisted, changed and evolve into gossip, which is then readily shared between individuals. But why is this so interesting?

I think women are naturally nosy. In 2026, with access to other people’s lives online, it is more acceptable to be curious about friends’ interests, life choices, and relationships. Fifty years ago it was not a common thing to pry into other people’s lives as we do now and therefore it would often appear that today’s youth are more invasive when it comes to trying to gain information about other people’s lives. Viewing intimate pictures and learning about relationships from people you have only met once would probably seem strange to people over the age of 50. But really, in current times, if you have the information there to view, why not be nosy and have a look?

The problem with being able to so readily access other people’s intimate details is that ‘information’ often easily becomes salacious gossip. Details are exaggerated, and as the story is told over and over, the facts become decidedly convoluted. Like in a game of Chinese Whispers, the gossip that surfaces at the end is not reminiscent of the facts you began with. Although I love chatting with my friends and more often than not end up sharing more than I should – not just about me, but about others too – I think the culture of gossiping is becoming more and more of a prevalent issue. In a society where everything is open to all, when will privacy return?

Privacy is a big issue when it comes to gossiping about friends in 2026.

When you are sharing all their intimate details with an adoring audience, it is very difficult to think about the effects of your exciting recital. The main victims of girly gossip are people who want to keep their privacy and not have their secrets repeated to everyone within a ten-mile radius. It is very difficult to strike a good balance. When you tell someone a secret you want to be sure they keep it to themselves, but will they? This introduces the idea of not just privacy, but trust too. If we are becoming a society which shares everything, what happens to trust? More.

As information turns decidedly public, gossiping is going to just intensify. Sharing secrets is both satisfying and cruel. Having a gossip session among a few close friends is all well and good, but in 2026, it is difficult to draw an appropriate line between what is fair and what is unfair. With all your information open to all, how do you manage to keep your own secrets? Is there such a thing as a real, true secret in a society full of openness and oversharing?

Interested, get in touch!

Why is finding a pen pal these days so difficult?

The obvious answer is modern technology.

When emailing, texting, and instant messaging are available, it’s not hard to see why the practice of letter writing has declined in recent years. It’s just so, well, instant. Letters, on the other hand, take days (or more) to receive, and it takes more time to actually sit down and write someone a letter. Plus, you have to have paper, envelopes, and stamps, and worry about how many stamps you’ll need. Sometimes you’ll have to make a trip to your local post office to make sure everything is set to mail so that it doesn’t get returned to you and you’d have to start the process all over again. Read reddit.

Why even deal with that? What’s the point when you can send a text or instant message in less than a minute, free of charge? I know, I get it. But who doesn’t love receiving something in the mail? It’s just so much more special that way because you know that that person took the time to gather the supplies, go through the writing process, find the appropriate number of stamps, and be patient enough to wait for it to reach you and receive a response in return. It’s exciting and personal, and you’ll have something to look forward to every month. You’ll also have the letters to save and reread any time you want.

There are other obstacles in finding a pen pal. If you’ve never actually met the person before, there’s the initial getting-to-know-you stage where two strangers email or Skype one another until they’re comfortable that the other person is not a total psychopath who will send them a package of dead kittens.

Although usually people don’t just want to hand out their mailing address to someone they met on the internet. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are absolutely certain that they are who they say they are and you feel safe about it.

Then there’s the dilemma of actually finding someone to write in the first place. Do you want to write a friend or family member? They may think you’re crazy for even suggesting it. “Who even writes letters anymore?” “I don’t have the time to write a letter.” “We can just email each other instead.” Hey, who knows! Maybe they’ll come around and want to give it a try. Maybe it’ll surprise them how much they enjoy writing and receiving letters!

Would you rather write to someone in another country and learn about their culture? Do you want to just write to someone you’ve never met who lives in another city? If you’re still in school, you could ask a teacher if there’s an academic club or program that arranges penpal relationships. What about that foreign exchange student who attended your school last year? Why not try writing to them and see if they’re interested? If you’re not currently in school, it may be easier to find a pen pal website that will aid you in finding like-minded people. And if that doesn’t work, you could always find someone through a social media account who might be interested. It’s somewhat ironic that modern technology might help you out in finding a pen pal after all! Just remember to take the proper online precautions. It’s better to be safe than sorry!

In the end, it’s hard to find a penpal in this day and age. Most people just aren’t interested and it’ll take some time to find someone who is willing to write to you. Don’t give up hope! There are people out there who are in the same position as you and you might just find each other. Letter writing may be old-fashioned and time consuming but I think it’s certainly worth it.

What do you think about writing letters? Let us know in the comments!